When To Contact The Family
Once you hear the news of someone passing away, it’s appropriate to contact the bereaved family before the funeral. Because this time is overwhelming and emotional, it’s best to contact them by sending a card or flowers to let them know you’re thinking of them and are available for support. These days, you may also send a text message. If you’re close with the family, then it’s proper etiquette to give the family a call.
#FuneralEtiquette
Respect Personal Space
Some grieving individuals may not be ready for physical contact like hugs. Gauge their comfort level before initiating any physical gestures.
#FuneralEtiquette
Taking Pictures Without Permission
With almost everyone having a camera on their mobile device, it's become a habit to capture the moment and post to social media. It is insensitive to post pictures of someone's funeral without special permission.
#FuneralEtiquette
Don't Be a Distraction
Funerals are serious occasions. Disruptive behaviors, such as cellphone noises or side conversations, detract from the intention of the day. Remain calm, be respectful, and keep your attention on the memory of the person who died and their grieving family.
#FuneralEtiquette
Don't Be Late
Arriving late disrupts the flow of the ceremony and can be a distraction to the family and other guest who are trying to focus on their grief and support for the family.
#FuneralEtiquette
Stay for the Whole Service
It is important to show your support by staying for the entire service. If you must leave early, sit near an exit and do so quietly.
#FuneralEtiquette
Saying Insensitive Things
Be careful with your words! Express your sympathy to the grieving family members. A simple, "I'm sorry for your loss" or a heartfelt condolence message goes a long way in offering comfort. When in doubt, give them a card and pray for them.
#FuneralEtiquette
Attending Funerals of Different Faiths
If you are attending the religious funeral of someone whose beliefs don’t echo your own, there is no pressure for you to take part in any religious practices that you aren’t familiar or comfortable with. A funeral is about paying your respects to the deceased and this can be done simply by listening to the service and being respectful to the other mourners.
#FuneralEtiquette
Should Children Attend
Children should be encouraged to attend the ceremonies surrounding the death of a family member or close friend to whatever degree they feel comfortable. Children learn through these experiences that death is a natural part of life and that rites are observed when someone dies.
Always consider a child's age before taking her to a funeral, memorial service, or a prolonged visitation. Because young children can become restless or have trouble staying quiet, you may choose to have them stay at home with a sitter, or bring a sitter who can take them home if needed.
#FuneralEtiquette
Inappropriate Humor
Don't Overshare Personal Stories
While sharing stories and memories of the deceased is appropriate, avoid oversharing personal anecdotes that might make others uncomfortable. Keep your remarks short and uplifting.
#FuneralEtiquette
Should I Show My Emotions at the Funeral?
There is no right or wrong way to show emotion at a funeral, and everyone will respond differently to the emotions of the day. Crying is a perfectly normal response to have, so let your emotion out if you need to. Being prepared with tissues can help you to feel more comfortable. If your emotion feels overwhelming then quietly leaving the funeral for a few moments is perfectly acceptable.
#FuneralEtiquette
Things Not To Say To Someone In Grief
-You’ll get through it, be strong.
-He brought this on himself, it was his fault.
-She’s in a better place.
-It’s been a while, aren’t you over her yet?
-He lived a long time, at least he didn’t die young.
-God must have wanted her there because she was such a good person.
-You’re young. You can always have another child.
-I know exactly how you feel.
-I guess it was his time to go.
-Everything happens for a reason, life goes on.
Remember, grieving the loss of a loved one is the worst pain someone can endure. Be respectful and polite. Don’t discount anyone’s feelings. Even if someone puts on a brave face and looks like he or she is handling it well, don’t assume that person is. Show that you care.
#FuneralEtiquette
Wearing An Improper Outfit
Following proper funeral etiquette begins before you even arrive. As such, wearing improper outfits can be perceived as disrespectful to the deceased person and their family.
Be sure to dress appropriately, and don’t do anything too bold or attention-grabbing. It’s respectful to the family members and other mourners to wear attire that reflects the solemnity of the service and/or what the family has requested of you to wear. This will allow everyone to focus on paying their respects and offering condolences.
#FuneralEtiquette
During The Ceremony
During the funeral ceremony it is important to conduct yourself in a subtle and respectful way;
-Arrive early, ten to twenty minutes prior to the start time.
-Turn off your phone or put it on silent. If it rings, do not answer it during the service.
-Keep conversations to a minimum when you are inside the venue.
-Don’t eat or drink during the funeral service.
#FuneralEtiquette
"2 Minute" Remarks
If you feel the need to speak, be respectful of the time. If the family wanted you to sing, preach or pray, they would have personally asked you. This is not your time to shine.
#FuneralEtiquette
Keep The Line Moving
Visitations can be very emotional, especially when speaking with the family of the deceased. If there is a line to speak with the bereaved, be conscious of keeping the line moving. After passing through the line, be sure to stand to the side to continue conversation, or allow the family members to continue to greet guests. The family will often be more available to speak following the conclusion of the service.
#FuneralEtiquette
Respect Seat Reservations
Seats at funeral services are often reserved exclusively for close family members. When you encounter designated seat arrangements, it is essential that you avoid occupying those seats. By respecting seat arrangements while attending a funeral, you demonstrate your understanding and consideration for the family's need to be physically closer to the front. This enables them to feel peace and unity during this solemn occasion.
#FuneralEtiquette
Continue to Offer Support
Attending a funeral gives you the opportunity to show your support to family and friends who are heartbroken. However, your presence should not end when the ceremony does. Grieving is a process and the road to healing does not have a timeline. Try to stay in touch with the bereaved weeks or even months after the farewell service. After they have had time to cope alone, they may wish to have someone there for them at a later time. If possible, attempt to find time to meet up and talk, or if you cannot be there in person, try to check in with a phone call. A small sign of someone caring can mean the world to a loved one who has experienced a loss.
#FuneralEtiquette
Processing to the Cemetery
A funeral procession, also known as a funeral cortege, is a traditional and RESPECTFUL way to send your loved one off on their final journey. Usually, the funeral procession's lead vehicle must obey all traffic lights and signs. The rest of the funeral procession can continue without stopping once it has legally passed through an intersection. Just make sure you still practice extreme caution while doing so.
Please do NOT take it upon yourself to try and stop traffic. Follow the directions of the funeral representatives so that we can travel together safely.
#FuneralEtiquette
